Your Hand in Mine - Explosions in the Sky

This song. This song. The most beautiful song I have ever heard. I first heard it, five years ago? I was in middle school. It makes me smile, it makes me cry, it's inspiring on the highest level. It's what life sounds like. Listen to this song while doing ANYTHING, and it's the most important thing you have ever done. You feel alive. Get high and listen to this song while driving down the interstate, and your mind blows up.

John and I?
not over. not even close.

I'm not sure if he's going to do anything about it.

Can I just say, he is the epitome of what I find attractive. Not even like, oo cute and darling attractive. More like a flame erupting in my insides forcing me onto him like an animal, not stopping until I am fully satisfied. I believe this is what a heroin addict feels like. And it doesn't even stop there, our physical connection is only the half of it. We are the most powerful entity I have ever had the opportunity to experience.
I'm sure he knows this. He's a thinker like myself, and I can see it in his eyes. Will he take the cowardly route? Perhaps. I can live with that. But that just doesn't happen. Life always brings you to where you belong. and maybe I don't belong with my sweetheart, but I can't imagine myself with anyone else. They seem like empty bodies that don't give any warmth when you touch them, I don't get chills when they speak, they don't understand what I'm talking about when I let myself go and start speaking in my pattern of thought.

I just have faith in us. we're too strong for this.

i want to be here

Aristotle: "What does it mean to be a good person?"
Descartes: "What does it mean to be?"
Nietzsche: "What does it mean?"
Bertrand Russel: "What does 'it' mean?"
C.S.Lewis: "What does it?"
Lil John: "What?"

I'm out of

• lotion
• makeup
• face wash
• face moisturizer
• shampoo

I must

• pay for my insurance ticket (like 10 bucks)
• Take my driving course (about 25 dollars)

I want to

• see new moon
• go thrifting ;)

Hopefully I will have enough money to do and aquire all of these things in the next two weeks. I think so. :)

Don't go through my shit then be upset about what you find.
You were asking for it.

Now I'm the bad guy?

I totally forced you into going way too far. Farther than you intended to go. You were totally helpless.

You regret it?
I regret trusting you. I regret believing everything you said and letting you FUCK ME OVER ROYALLY.
Go ahead and tell her it was my fault, so she'll forgive you. So she'll accept you. Because she can't take you the way you are?

When she does it again, don't come to me.
Fuck that, Fuck her, and Fuck you.

I saw John today. Everytime I see him, it feels normal..kind of. Then we leave. and it feels like a huge black man punched me in the stomach and tied up my hands and stabbed me in the throat.

Feeling this way, I retreated back home and slept for four hours.

Dont waste time sitting on that ledge, love, come to me now. London is very far away. I believe you have a plane to catch.

Jacob.

: /
i miss johnny

I don't just miss john, I can't get away from john.
I hear his voice in my sleep, his eyes are everywhere I look his hands are in my hair his mouth is on my neck his scent is on everything I wear.
She doesn't deserve him after she broke his heart twice. He isn't disposable.